


We're sorry we could have saved you.

by BlueEyesBlueHeart



Series: Never Forget Us. [1]
Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Hospital, M/M, My first fic, Now Cross-posted on Wattpad. Yay., Oneshot, Sad, fluff?, someone may die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 22:37:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11610381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueEyesBlueHeart/pseuds/BlueEyesBlueHeart
Summary: I had this idea from reading the newspaper and coming up with this title, sooooo...Here we go:He looked so free, so... alive. But he was dying. I watched as he waddled around on his wobbly legs, laughing every time he almost fell, as if falling on the floor wouldn't guarantee his death.





	We're sorry we could have saved you.

** We're so sorry we could have saved you. **

He looked so free, so... alive. But he was dying. I watched as he waddled around on his wobbly legs, laughing every time he almost fell, as if falling on the floor wouldn't guarantee his death. The abandoned wheelchair looked on longingly, its blankets strewn over the back, a signal that he wanted to get out of the damn thing as quick as possible.

I would've started crying, but I wanted to be strong for him. He was the one I was doing this for, all of this, all my classes, all my volunteer work, everything. I gave up my life for him. But I'm not bitter, he made it better, at every step, every turn, he gave me the will to go on, when it should've been the other way around. He breathed life into this hospital, it's weird. Normally, the doctors would keep up the morale, not the patient. Everyone loved him, especially the old folks and the kids.

He smiled even though his legs were weak.

He laughed even though his lungs were wheezing.

He talked with a mission even though his heart was beating too slow.

He was the epitome of the man of the people.

He never complained, despite how many times I'd tell him that he couldn't be 100% all the time, especially in his condition.

Another reason I loved him was that he never turned to drink or drugs. In his earlier years, you may've thought that he would, being the wild animal that he was. Little did everyone know that he didn't need alcohol for him to act crazy, so he never used it. When asked if he had tried it in a medical exam he claimed he didn't like the taste.

We called him H20 Delirious, because he could get drunk on water.

He was in a bouncy state, despite not actually bouncing. His smile gave the other patients a boost. I can't tell you how many people he'd helped, though never helping himself.

If I tell you something, you have to tell nobody.

He could've been released from the hospital and 'cured', a long time ago. But he never wanted anyone who was worse than him to not have the medical care that he also required and threw tantrums when he got more attention than someone who was on their deathbed.

And now he was. When I was younger, I thought with him being his normal bubbly self, he would get better on his own, so I aided him in his mission to give the care to others worse than him. But I misjudged his commitment, and his acting skills. He was always good at that. Now, though, after years of seeing him like this, I could tell when he was hurting, when it was too much for him, he would never say so himself. He felt he had a duty, to make others laugh and to make sure others could live before they died. And I loved him for it. Maybe too much.

I loved him too much to see when he didn't want me. When he didn't want anyone. Spending so much time with so many people takes a toll on you. He needed his time alone, and I failed to see that. Strained, he would always make me laugh as well, seeing the tears in my eyes, he would always wipe them away and reassure me that he wouldn't leave that soon.

He lied.

That night, he was lying in his hospital bed, listening to Death Of A Bachelor, the entire album, over and over again. One song, he couldn't stop listening to, House Of Memories.

In his croaky voice he would continuously sing, _"Promise me a place, in your house of memories."_ Making me want to hug him and say yes, every time.

We would sing along together, until he couldn't sing anymore, but I continued to do so.

_**"Baby, we built this house** _

We rented an apartment together during college, before we found out he had cancer.

_**Our memories** _

I still lived in that place, but I had bought it now. Every way I turned I could see us doing the stupid shit we used to do.

**_Take my picture now_ **

He always insisted I bring along my old Polaroid camera. He used to take selfies everyday and stick them up on the wall.

**_Shake it till you see it_ **

I'd always tell him that shaking the picture would make the ink run, that it was better to watch it develop. He didn't care.

**_And when your fantasies_ **

Every night, he'd tell me about his dreams to become an actor or entertainer, something to make people smile.

**_Become your legacy_ **

He accomplished those dreams, he was well known in the town as the one who put a smile on everyone's faces. Even those who hadn't smiled in a long, long time.

**_Promise me a place_ **

I remember when I got him this album two years ago. He'd always liked Panic! At the Disco. And he was thrilled when he lived to see the next album come out.

**_In your house of memories."_ **

At the end of the song, he'd closed his eyes and was breathing slowly. The heart rate monitor was beeping slowly. But got slower and slower. I started to panic, I shook his shoulder, eyes watering, "No, NO! JONATHAN!"

He must've heard me in his dreamy state, as he smiled at the sound of my voice and moved his hand slightly, covering mine. I knew this would happen. Why had I been so stupid as to give in to his will? He had to be treated! He had to- he had to- to live longer!

What makes it worse is that he would have expected this, and he would've embraced it. But NO! He needed more time, there are more things we hadn't tried that could work! They all could work! He had to hold on! For them! For- for me.

And I realised. I realised why he had done this to himself. But before I could say anything otherwise, the heart monitor flat-lined. Bringing more doctors and nurses in. The last I saw of him was his beautifully peaceful face, a slight smile on his lips as he was carried away.

** We're sorry we could have saved you... **

 

**Author's Note:**

> Um... my first fic. I did this on my phone, so any typos, I'm sorry. 
> 
> I'll check over this again. 
> 
> Also, if you would like to comment, that would be great, although just reading it is good enough for me. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Edit: I looked over it, and I think it’s ok. I just wanted to say I posted this on Wattpad. *cough*@LozzieMay16 *cough*


End file.
